random thought:
it's not easy --- looking for dead stars.

missed stuff.

i think i'm catching a cold... i hate it... it's hard to breathe, my nose gets runny, my throat hurts, and my eyes feel heavier than usual... it was so bad this morning that i couldn't get up from bed... i felt so bad because i didn't get to attend our first 3 hour photog class... pards said they talked about a lot of more detailed things than last week which made me feel even worse... =(

i got to school at about 12:15pm... i headed straight to the library to write down the formulas we needed for our statpro test... it took me about 5 minutes, then i went to lounge on the couch with my current short, Mr. Write... (it's an okay book... the sequence of scenes gets quite confusing at times, but the wit makes up for it... it's not often i find a story like this... it's sort of like a pinoy sex comedy / romance... it's a pretty interesting read...) moving on, as we were starting our statpro class, i got a text from aeo... he was meeting sir patrick to discuss some stuff about our project... he thought it'd be great if i could come too so i could show them my work as well... and i wanted to go, but we had a scheduled test in statpro that i couldn't get out of... i felt like shit. =( i wanted to go and meet them... i thought the logo i made last night was a little out of my norm... and i wanted to hear what sir patrick thought about it... whether he liked it or not, the constructive feedback would still be useful to me... plus, i haven't been around for anything in WIAN... =( especially in my earlier contributions (or lack thereof)... and i really wanted to be there for once --- i was on the verge of tears... finding out how great the meeting went didn't really help... useless pachi. ='(

nakitambay ako kay miss mia after ng statpro... they were talking about something that has been bugging me for a while... (yes, it has been bugging me.) it was something that happened, out of the blue... like one day everything was one way, and then the next, complete overhaul... no matter how bad it felt to see how things turned out, i never dared to ask why... i didn't want to know... i was constantly being asked, and if i knew, it'd be harder to brush it off as nothing and not interfere... (like i said, i've vowed never to mess with a situation like that ever again.) i tried to understand on my own coz i do know him well, and i did get everything on the surface... but the real root of everything --- no idea. i always miss the important stuff... *sigh* useless talaga.

anywho, i think i should get this over with... i'm already getting the urge to take a fork and scrape it over my throat..!

thanks again for the free... heheh... sensya na, your pal's broke this week... bawi na lang...

RIght before your eyes
by: Hoobastank

When the door shuts don't worry about me
it's not attention that I want from you
I need you to trust who I'm gonna be
and in everything I'm going to do
Cuz I'm not afraid of what I don't know
for understanding is all that I earn
what is for sure is I'm going to go
I'm going to live and I'm going to learn...

And I know there will be mistakes that I will make...
but I know that none are worse than chances
I don't take... take...

Chorus:
Right before your eyes I am changing...
changing...
New life on the inside I am changing...
changing...

When the door shutsit shuts finally
a new person that I have become
I'll follow my heart to my destiny
the living in fear and the sorrow is done
there will be no more feeling that i'm all alone
I will surround myself with things that help me grow...

Right before your eyes I am changing...
changing...
New life on the inside I am changing...
changing...

Right before your eyes I am changing...
changing...
New life on the inside I am changing...
changing...

Right before your eyes...
Right before your eyes....

+++2 years... 2 years na lang...+++

weird.

didn't go to class today... muhaha..! =p decided to accompany angelo to divi instead... turned out to be a good decision coz i ended up going home with a new jersey... yay! thanks much for the gift... (kahit dapat may 250 pa... okay na yun, promise...) actually, a big part of my decision to cut class was the chance to have tambay time at his house again... seriously people, i think their house has some kind of invisible force that makes people want to just slack... heheh... anywho, i unfortunately didn't get to do that... we spent more time at divi than we anticipated, and we ended up arriving at their house just in time for a late lunch and a quick bath... we had to leave after a few minutes because his parents had to bring the drinks for the event, plus a lot of last minute preparation for both of our parts in the show.. (aeo was the emcee, and i had to get made up and rehearse for the fashion show...) i was kinda tired actually, but it was all good... the hype got me going in a good way... =)

chaos. one word to describe what went on behind, and on the stage... everybody was running around, stuff were being misplaced and forgotten, people were getting ticked off by other people, three gay men drove us (and themselves) insane with make up and hairpins --- crazy! by the time the fashion show went on, i think everybody was so tired they had no choice but to sit down and watch... heheh... i think it went well though, the fashion show... nobody tripped thank goodness... and the other programs went real well too... the emcees were good (yes aeo, kahit corny, atleast nakapagpatawa kayo ni ian... muhaha!), the games were so fun to watch, the dance pushed through, and the play was quite good... all in all, it was a good show... (other than the fact that i almost lost my cellphone, i had fun all through out.)

well all that came after was a little off the "fun" mark of the night...

chilis. tequilla. 11pm. angry mom. persuasive me. frustrated me. go figure...

"simpleng buhay, simpleng trip...
ngunit ubod ng saya.
at pag makita kang nakangiti
ako'y natutuwa..."

i can't feel...

...my legs.
...my butt.
...my shoulders.
...my arms.
...my neck.

so, so tired people... -_-

WTF?!

GRRRR!!! i am hanging on to my mouse by a thread... when i snap, i'll throw this across the room, smack in the head of nothing. nothing! i can't get to nothing, i want to scream at nothing, i want to shake nothing back into the world of the confused minds surrounding nothing, and i want to smack nothing with this stupid 3D hammer...

worthless.

damn it. the simplest things hurt the most.

so wrong.

my two aunts were worried about what my mother's reaction would be about the baby... all three of us are pretty sure that the news wouldn't be as pleasant to her as it was to them... that brought tita reina and i to a very, very long conversation... harbored feelings got out, tears went... gosh, it was exhausting... i got reminded again of the fact that my mother is indeed a very controlling, overly possessive and highly (i'm sorry for saying all this) inconsiderate person... =( she has her hands around all our necks (me and my aunts), the necks of the one who loves her and his family, the necks of those working for her, and the necks of those who look up to her... imagine the tightest grip possible, and that's it... what's funny is that everybody feels the same way, but nobody is strong enough to fight... she's left with the idea that because nobody is opposing her, she's right --- always right, even though it's not true.

i saw how hard it really was for my mom's "shock absorbers" (including me)... and i found out just how inconsiderate and how much of a hypocrite my mom really was... and shit did it hurt... =( she's my mother for crying out loud! how am i going to be okay knowing that i think of her this way... it's so hard... and it's even worse to realize that unlike everybody else, i have no way out... they can leave her, scream at her, turn their backs on her and live their own lives if they want to --- i can't. and figuratively speaking, if leaving her meant detaching myself from my mother to live my life now for myself, doing my thing, and making my decisions the right way... i still can't imagine... just thinking about it is making me feel like a bad child... =( i want to live my life now so that by the time i graduate and find a stable job, i can finally continue to live my life for the sake of my family, immediate or otherwise... and everybody keeps telling me that it's my choice... that i could do it if i really wanted to... but it isn't easy... i don't want to hurt my mother... but no matter how i shuffle the possibilities, she'll hate it either way and i'll hurt her... i'll hurt her. how can i hurt my mother?

this sucks. it's so wrong, and it sucks. ='(

laugh trip. guilt trip. baby!

went home late today just for the heck of it... heheh... =p actually, rhythm had dance practice... i expected it to last until about 9pm... but by 8pm, everybody started to disappear one-by-one... if i hadn't asked about the practice, nobody would've told me that it was already over! =( i could've gone early and tagged along when aeo finished his test, but nooo... they just had to not tell me anything again. grr. well anyway, i didn't feel like going home even after ralph and hersh left... i couldn't stand up from the couch coz my butt felt too heavy... and my legs hurt from too much dancing too... =p goodness! trax, nimrod and i spent the whole hour before i went home laughing our asses off..! it was crazy! sobrang bano na talaga naming tatlo..! the conversations lacked so much sense that it was hard not to laugh... "how many pecs do you have?!" or "bulag ka! sabi na kasing maglinis ka ng ilong mo, baka mabilaukan ka..!" muhahah! seriously, i haven't laughed that much in a LONG time... =D

i got home at about 10pm, and what news welcomes me?! We're having a baby! heheh... tita bardie's pregnant... i'm gonna be a -- well, a cousin --- but i feel like i'm gonna be an aunt for the first time... so cool... =) it feels kind of awkward though, this whole thing... i mean, i do feel happy and excited and all that...

but, they're not married yet...

i don't know... even though part of me understands that it's a reality, what i knew still sunk in... she's an adult already and that's her life, but --- grr. i don't know how to explain it.

whatever, basta magkakaroon na ng baby sa bahay... happy, happy. =)

i'm sorry.

i have two blogs... this one, is my public blog... my private blog has been up for 7 months, and was last updated a little over a week ago... nobody (but blogger) knows about that blog... i made it then because i got lazy, i couldn't write as often as i had messed up thoughts running around in my head... so i put it up... somewhere to vent, to scream, and to let it all hang out... i thought the chance of a close friend or a family member finding it was very slim, and that if i took it off the listings, the chances would even be smaller...

i just read through the whole blog... pondering whether i should get it out or not... but just reading my entries again made me cry... and i couldn't imagine anyone reading all those things that i wrote --- especially you. maybe one of these days i'd find the courage to let you read it (or to delete it.), but right now, i'm too scared... i don't know how much of what you will see would be enough to freak you out, but i know some of it will...

i'm so sorry... i wish i could let you see it, but what's in it, it's too much... even for you. ='( sana hindi ka galit.

"...burning furnace."

these past few weeks, i've noticed that everytime i left home late for mass, once i got there, it would only be about 10 minutes into the service... (instead of my expected 30 minutes...) i never found that odd until that one time when i did come in early, and the mass had been, as usual, going on for about 10 minutes... because at first, i considered the fact that the 7pm mass actually started at 7:15... but now, i have this strange feeling that i think God just wanted me to be there in time...

anywho, tonight during mass, i sat down at the back part of the church, outside of the adoration chapel... i sat there, with my head resting heavily on the wall behind me, with millions of thoughts running through my head... they were making me feel sad, and hurt... i couldn't listen to the priest anymore because my mind was so full of crap... i was already on the verge of tears when i decided to leave... i couldn't sit there and not BE there for Him... i already felt bad, and that fact made me feel even worse... so i stood up and i went inside the adoration chapel... it was something i did, all the time before leaving from mass... me and my friends, my family, we always passed by the adoration chapel before going home... i sat down at the far corner of the chapel, near the door so no one peering from outside would see me cry... the chapel was empty, and the ambience was so calm and peaceful that i wasn't able to stop myself from sinking, curling into the corner... nothing was coming out, i just let myself think so He could hear me... i hoped He could still hear me... looking up from where i was, i caught a glimpse of the prayer books stacked past the door... what i did next was shocking even for me... i stood up and, yes, i took the bible... i figured maybe there was something in it that could help me... that magically, if i opened it without mind, what i'd see would help me...

...i found myself reading it for almost 20 minutes.

i couldn't put it down... and the funny thing was, the passages weren't what i was hoping for... but still i couldn't put the bible down. my mind was already set to stop after a chapter, but i kept going... i don't understand why, but i did. when i heard the Our Father, it was then that i suddenly found the urge to stop... i closed the book, held it to me, and sang... i held onto it people --- hugged it almost. and the feeling was indescribable...

i don't know what just happened... and i don't understand why it happened either... but when i went out of the chapel for the mass' final blessing, my heart was lighter than ever... i felt great. =')

balang day?

one bagay. sorry, no poking... =D

"Tulog na, mahal ko...
wag kang lumuha, malambot ang iyong kama...
saka na mamroblema...

Tulog na... hayaan na muna natin sila.
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan...
kung matulog, matulog ka na..."

tantra?

i tried out tantra a while ago... i was actually late for class already... it was still at home at 10am when pards told me that sir don wouldn't be able to go to class today... (hoowahoo! =p) obviously, the DA boys of the chinese mafia and p10 went straight to becon as well after finding out... heheh... all of them were on tantra, while one autistic soul decided to play smackdown instead. muhaha! nerd. =D

well, tantra was alright i guess... i did have some fun creating my character and punching all the monsters like crazy... the game's too slow for me though... but i think i can stick to it when i find the time... it's not exactly a bad online RPG... i'm just not fond of ol-RPGs much... not my thing. i agree though, the graphics are good... and it's not as confusing to play as i thought it would be... and except for the ocassional lags when there are too many people online, it's an okay game... ;)

random thought:

"don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game..." - cinderella story.

...it can never hurt to try.

whatta mouth!

i left the house earlier than usual today... it was joanne's birthday and she asked us to come before class so we could eat... the spaghetti was actually pretty good... and if you were there, you'd know that it was, just by looking at all the guys' plates... hahah! especially aldrin's and myks'... parang nag salad bar lang sa wendy's eh... =p thanks again joanne for the meal... happy birthday! =)

anywho, i thought phillit went well today... aeo and i skipped the 2:40 class... we both haven't read QUALITY yet so we decided to attend the 4:20 class instead so we could have decent test scores... like i said, phillit went well (as usual.) fine, fine... maybe i am a little biased since i love the topics, but the classes ARE really good... i was even surprised when sir patrick started talking about the movie: "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." i haven't seen the movie actually, but i remember it being in miko's friendster profile... heheh... i think i'm gonna ask him if he has a copy of it he could lend me... i'm suddenly interested to see it... =p just as i am interested to start writing stories again... hmm... NaNoBlog? =)

sheena........... muhahah!!! that girl's crazy... she dragged me out to the elevators to tell me about, uh, someone... hahah!!! whatta mouth! muhaha! we looked so stupid walking along the corridors trying to find (stalk?), uh, someone... =p we just took a glimpse, and then we couldn't stop laughing again...

goodness. it really is all in the mouth... ^_^

oh, and there's a new computer gaming cafe just 3 blocks away from our house (finally! malapit lang!)... i think i've found my lab 3... (did i mention it's gonna be open 24 hours? muhaha!!!)

lost.

i was trying to make a new template on another account --- gave me a headache... i should just sleep already... we have a test tomorrow in accounting that i haven't studied for yet... i have to wake up early because i left my book in school... speed reading na naman ito... hay.

---

i'm lost... i seriously have no idea... i've been told different, but i feel that something's wrong... i was told not to think it was my fault, but it really isn't easy when everything that's been happening contradicts it... i missed the opportunity to ask this afternoon... damn hesitations. i couldn't bring myself to stand up from my seat... even walking out to leave was hard... i don't understand why everything seems okay at a distance... but on close quarters, everything breaks down...

right now, i'd take a cold hard slap in the face than this... i can't handle what ifs. it hurts too much.

didn't feel right.

i just arrived from my first bus ride home in so long... haven't done that in a while... but today, i had to... leaving school at 5pm seemed too early for me, and i couldn't think of anything to do around the area... and i think i actually missed taking the bus alone... it's refreshing almost... i don't know what it is about a bus, but every time i haven't had time to think, i find the urge to get on one... well, as long as i get to sit down of course... the bus ain't no place for thinking if it's full of angry people hungry for seats... it's always better to get a good window seat and be able to let my mind wander off to wherever... i did that today but only for a while... coz after megamall i fell asleep... and when i woke up, we were already in Kamuning... it made me feel better to wake up and see that night has fallen...

...finally, going home felt a little more appropriate. having messed something up at school and all. -_-

pa-pirate ng hidden text. i missed you today. ='(

class? riiight.

i saw feena again at the mrt station this morning... it's the third time in two weeks... hahah! we also saw kibi, but we were already inside the cart when he got to the platform... anywho, feena asked me if i brought a 3-button mouse for gamedes...

shit. i forgot. =(

it was only then that i remembered (very vaguely.) sir don talking about getting our own mouse for gamedes... urg. i keep forgetting things lately... a few days ago, i forgot to tell the rhythm members about a meeting, today i forgot the mouse and the iFap meeting... oh, and i also forgot the CDs cube and andrew needed to borrow from me... =( useless memory... *sigh*

pards asked me to lunch after gamedes... didn't want to go coz i didn't have money anymore, but macoy (forcefully, and painfully.) dragged me out of the couch telling me that he'll buy me my lunch... (my wrists still hurt.) so much for that... ended up buying my own lunch anyway. bummer. good thing they decided to eat at mickeyD's and not at wendy's...

after lunch, they were planning on hanging out at becon to start their tantra characters... i was convinced to start mine as well actually... heheh... just not right then... i told them that they might miss a lot at photog if they ditched it... coz last week, sir don had a lot of stuff covered in the discussion... (not that i was able to listen much, but i know it was a lot.)

to my regret and dismay, the class just started. damn it.

we spent two hours doing nothing... there wasn't even anything to install... when i went out for the iFap meeting, i expected to go back to a lesson... but even from the physics lab, i wasn't able to see anything from the projector... i felt so bad... i know, they really should be in class... but they weren't planning on it, and i took them out of their own plans in replacement of staring at the monitor for two hours... *sigh* i should just keep my mouth shut next time... let them do their thing or something...

aigoo. time to listen to sir don now... camera thingee.

though the road's still long.

"Well the voices fall like timber,
And the fear it pours like rain...
And my heart is crushed to cinders
Underneath this kind of pain...
Well there is no resolution
When the revolution’s dead...

So I’m left with no solution for the voices in my head..."

"in media res"

i thought i was going to frreak out, but the confrontation turned out to be about something else... *whew!*

...i am a little left of center though.

still a very awkward place to be... -_-

arte-kulit.

i reprinted krim's thingee today... i wasn't very satisfied with what came out last time, so i offered to make another one... i intended to reprint it at the creative lounge, but magically, the colored printer wasn't working... aeo suggested netopia, but it turns out they didn't print on A3... so after passing by SM (aeo bought a shirt), i decided to try to look for a print shop near my house... damn the jeepney i rode to philcoa. =( i kept yelling "para po! para po!", but it didn't stop until the island that separates the road to UP and to Fairview... argh. i had to walk against traffic, and actually was almost hit by a car... hoowa. *sigh* anywho, the first print shop i found DID print colored on A3 --- but not back to back. to think that they charged only 50 pesos, made my frustration escalate even more... (plus i didn't get why they couldn't print back to back.) the next print shop i came across didn't print on A3 as well... ha. such amazing print shops...

i gave up.

i thought about going home already... i thought i'd just tell krim about the damaged printer and extend it til tomorrow... but just as i was about to turn and go down the stairs (the same one i went up on.), i saw a very small digital design shop... the small store was so packed with posters, pictures, and banners that it really was hard to spot... i hesitated at first, but when i saw: "large format printing" on the banner, i went in... FINALLY! they offered just what i needed... =) the price wasn't AT ALL friendly, but the quality of the product was great... i even chit-chatted with the owner, a lady... napabilib niya ako.

she said she's been doing this for 9 years, but it's only been 8 months since they put up the office in philcoa... she started out at home, with a computer she bought with her own money, and very vocal family members... well, except for her parents that is... they weren't very fond of her chosen career... she didn't get any support for them at all, even until now... and when i told her about us planning to start our own business, she said:

"basta kung may support kayo ng parents, mas madali... ako kasi dati help yourself. they were there, pero not for me." =(

i could see hesitation in her eyes as she said that... and i think she almost cried... but nonetheless, she made it through all that... and the many times she was scammed? goodness... she talked about the times when she was still starting out, that a client would ask for a sample first --- a portfolio of sorts, to gauge her capabilities... it was done without closing the deal of the job, and it often ended up with her designs being stolen from her... since there was no deal, they don't owe her anything... she gave them the sample, they can use it if they wanted to.

JERKS.

imagine, one of her biggest clients for design and printing is Jollibee... =D their banners, advertisments, give-aways, they do all that... so cool. she gave me lots of advice too on starting out and building a name for the company... she said to start out slow, but sure... stabilize first before anything big... and lots of other things... (it was a pretty long talk. =p) and whatabout!?! she even brought up currently looking for someone to have OJT at their office... heheh... part-time, or full-time, doesn't matter... all i (wait, did i say 'i' ? =p) needed was a resume, proficiency in computers (?!!!!), and some time to dedicate to managing the store while she's working on her corporate projects...

...yes. i do believe i'm going back to that store. who knows? i might just bring a resume with me. =D

=

BTW, the name of the studio is: ARTEkulit design studios. clever a? heheh... came from the word ARTICULATE she said... but i think even the tagalog counterpart meant a lot... very cool.

=

talk to the book.

(title?) 'nuff said. baka kung ano pa masabi ko... masyado kasi astig ang accounting eh... can't help it... ^_^

anywho, i'm scared... i was asked to a confrontation... i'm not very good at things like that... i already think too much on a regular basis... but when i would have to be asked to explain, or to say what has not been said (for a reason.) --- it gets to be aggravating. i would have to think of ways to say things nicely, and with the truest (wrd?) of intentions, without compromising the personal thoughts and feelings of all involved... i would have to look the confrontee in the eye so as to give them what they need, without giving them too much that it borders on meddling.

i'm currently figuring out the ways i would be able to do that later... especially now that i am sensing the reason for this confrontation, it's a person actually, and a good friend no less... and this situation is something i've vowed never to mess with again... ever.

imagine my torment.

they said burn rubber.

i never know anything (significant)... and i don't understand much of what i do know either... it's like i'm afloat, holding on to thin air... trying to pinch the clouds, to grab the stars, and dreaming of the day i'd get to sit on the moon --- even when reality has taught me to believe otherwise... those of sheer greatness and poignant beauty amaze me... that with the slightest wisp of chance, i am enthralled --- hooked --- mesmerized. an instance that leaves me blind and unsuspecting... i am left with a view point that stretches only as far as MY chosen reality, that i neglect to see the rest of the world passing me by... i don't even notice the warning signs, the detours, and the red lights...

...i burned my soul.

i am spent... the water has run dry, and my alternate reality has ceased to exist... from all the things i've set aside, the thoughts i've kept guarded (or written, hidden in plain sight.) and all the words i never said out loud... all the anger and the hate i brushed off of my shoulders, all the questions i never dared to ask (risking my sanity)... everything has added up to one huge predicament... everything has led me to believe the things i never should've even thought of... i've lost the battle with myself again, and i'm losing my battle with reality as well... nothing is sinking in.

i am suddenly hollow. completely blank...

oh snap.

i just spent an hour and 315 pesos for a sucky printing job... the printer kept pulling crap so i had to pay for the spoils because i wanted it so bad to be done... grr. it wasn't a very pleasant experience... then at the mrt, there were SOOO many people... (to think it was almost 9pm already!!!) there was also this lady who kept pushing me back, and this guy who was too close for comfort behind me... again, not fun.

i went straight to ahbi's house... everyone was already drinking, but jaren was sweet enough to wait for me before eating... the food? very, very good... her long wait paid off with the sisig, the chicken, and the liempo... yummy! add to that the san mig light, and for a moment, you have one happy barkada... didn't drink much though... just took two sips, then i gave the bottle to cali... i'm not much of a beer fan... nor am i much of a sing-along fan either, but i ended up singing anyway...

well, screaming the lyrics actually... i wasn't in the mood to sing properly... (like i ever am?!)

anywho, i'm tired... my eyes are hurting, and i still have to study for accounting tomorrow... omg! i forgot! i'm not done with part two of our assignment yet..!

i'll try to stay awake.

just finished krim's thingee... off to print it... then straight to ahbi's birthday...

hoowa.

statpro.

i'm currently on the second 10 minute break from our 3 hour class... damn it. i'm scared of statpro already...

most kids have monsters under their beds...

...i have math. ='(

just a feeling.

Rainy Day
by: Guster

i will dig a hole, save my pennies for a rainy day...
i will dig a hole, saving pennies for a rainy day...
i'm not scared...
i will build a wall, sensing trouble from a mile away...
i will build a wall, saw it coming from a mile away...
i'm not scared...
i'm not scared...
try wearin your insides out...
i dont even try, i know i have seen the best i'll have...
i dont even try, i will just play dumb...
i wont hear a single word that's said...
i will bite my tongue, never sing another song again...
i'm not scared
i'm not scared
try wear my insides out...
i dont even try, i know i have seen the best i'll have...
i dont even try, never been one to take my chances...
i dont even try...
clouds are coming, air get's heavy,
looks like trouble on a rainy day...
sun starts sinking, can't see my shadow,
looks likes trouble on a rainy day...
holes uncovered, walls will crumble,
all spells trouble on a rainy day...

better days?

my mother has outdone herself... if before she begins screaming early in the morning, and even before she gets into the house... (just as she enters the gate people.) now, she's awaken me from my sleep to scream at me on the phone, calling straight from BOHOL... talk about a wake up call. *sigh*

i know, i know... i friggin' separated the packs of food to be sent to my dad when i wasn't supposed to... fine, it was a mistake... but i didn't know... all she asked me to do was put them in ziplock bags and to make sure that they are secure... how can i make them secure if they didn't fit? grr. another one of those days when i don't get my mother very much... she gets so angry in a second and it's really hard to catch up... even the smallest things call for epic reactions with her at times... and there's nothing anyone has ever been able to do about it --- i don't think anyone ever will.

my mom might be the way that she is for a reason... atleast we have better days. that's what counts i guess. =)

random thought:

...i feel great.

scan freak.

FINALLY! i'm done with all the scanning... -_-

aiye passed by last night as well, she asked me if i could finally start with (and finish) ate sheila's picture CD... it's gonna be aiye's farewell gift to her before she leaves for the states... we both expected to find the scanned photos in aiye's email, so she told me to download them already because she was going to arrive late... surprise, surprise --- they weren't there... when she got here, we checked for them at her friend's sent items, but they weren't there either... talk about frustrating... -_- it was already 10:30 then, and i was getting worried... aiye still had to go home to san vicente and finding a tryc at that hour wasn't easy... her friend was already resending the pix, but it took so long... i don't know how she scanned the pics, but every single one managed to blow up into 300+K files!!! grr. when i checked the clock, it was already 11:30... so i told aiye to go home... we didn't wait for the rest of the pics anymore, having to download 5 pictures for an hour is enough... i had to scan these again to save time... aiye needed it tomorrow, and she also needed to get home, so i walked her to the trycs just to be safe...

i just finished the CD as well... it's kinda cool... =D i used UB40's Every Breath You Take as the background audio... it went well with the transitions and aiye's crazy for reggae, so i figured it was the best choice... i hope they like it...

i've scanned Krim's pictures too... and i've finally figured out what i was going to do with the birthday letters... hahah! took me a whole day to do so, but it's all good... =D i just have to figure out how i'm even going to begin making the booklet tomorrow... i still have some errands to run for my mom in the morning, my dentist appointment at lunch, my accounting homework (i have to atleast start it now or i'll never have the urge next week.), and church at 7pm...

...i believe i'm seeing another sleepless night.

oh well, it's time to pack the bonnets and some daing! Riyadh, here they come... hoowahoo! =D

green monster.

MYX gave somebody a FIFTY THOUSAND PESO shopping spree at TOWER RECORDS...

how lucky can you get?! i would've freaked out if i was the one who won that... i mean, 50k! 50k worth of CDs and Tower Records merchandise! just imagine all the cool stuff you could get... all the music, movies, the headphones, the magazines, everything..! aaargh! my CD wishlist is flashing before my eyes and it's making me really desperate... i'm practically green with envy... heheh...

i remember that time when i was in 2nd year high school... i also won a gift certificate from tower... (so what if my 2k doesn't compare to her 50k. =p) it happened when our english teacher asked us to write an essay about a great achievement... it was going to be submitted to the modess spirit thingee, and the chosen finalists will have their work published in the newspaper... finalists got pond's merchandise, and as i've said, the 2k GC... the 3 winners in the grand finals got 5k, 7k and 10k each... i flipped when i saw my article in STAR --- really, REALLY bad picture though... heheh... tita reina and i went to makati to claim my prize (it was my first visit to Perea street, and now i'm almost always there. =p), then i went straight to glorietta to buy my CDs...

...i bought stuff for other people though. =p

i wasn't as obsessed then as i am now... i remember getting the Gary V. and the Brian McKnight CD for my mom, and the Shaggy CD for *ahem* somebody who's not me? *uhLIAR* heheh... i feel so lame... =D anywho, i could just imagine how the girl felt with that 50k opportunity handed to her just like that...

wow. just, WOW.

==

By the way, i think she also had a lame moment at Tower Records. She went and bought Enrique Iglesias' album and said something about him being HOT. (ack!) hahah! no harm done though, at least she got the Cold Mountain VCD (she's a fan of nicole kidman... right on!) and a copy of Maroon5's album... =D

==

slight disturbance.

whew. 11 hours of sleep... haven't had that in a long time... =)

i got off the net right before 3am, then i went straight to bed... and in my own bed too, thank you very much... heheh... the bed i've been missing for a long time... i haven't dared to sleep upstairs since school started... it felt too good that it was hard for me to wake up in time... so i decided to adjust my body clock by sleeping on the sofa with the price of waking up with a sore back... *ugh* talk about stress... my back is so stiff it hurts... =( but anywho, i woke up at about 2:30pm... i was still a little groggy when my ate ga asked me to eat already... she worries about me a lot, it's kinda sweet... the whole christmas vacation when i'd be waking up real late, she always greets me with: "di ka ba gutom? ano gusto mo kainin? tanghali na wala pa laman tiyan mo." she's pregnant also so i guess it carries on to me... napaglilihian... =D

krim passed by this morning to give me the stuffications for her BF's birthday... (a little interruption to my sweet slumber.) she's "hired" me to make some kind of booklet with his pictures, their pictures, and the letters of their classmates... she says it's her last and most special gift to him because she's breaking up with him in a week... hahah! i'm still figuring out how i would make such a thing, and give it to her in time... i'd have to scan the letters (i don't know why i would have to, but she wants me to... so, yeah.), scan the pictures, put it together and print it at copylandia by monday afternoon... i don't have the money yet, so that's gonna be another hassle since i have a tight budget for next week... *sigh* the things i do to be productive...

BUT, no worries... this'll pay off one day i hope... sole? sole? =p

= sound snippet =

"Cast me gently into morning
for the night has been unkind...
Take me to a place so holy,
that I can wash this from my mind...
The memory of choosing not to fight."

jedi academy?

i just remembered (thanks to myks' post... =D) something about the school... yesterday when i arrived, i saw speakers scattered around 3rd floor... sir Ando proudly introduced me to what he said was the school's "bell." didn't think we needed one, but it excited me nonetheless... heheh... =p i dunno, it felt cool... i could just imagine one day, we would hear sir mitch's voice through those speakers... =o

Feel the power! muhaha!

but i never thought i'd hear the STAR WARS theme..! hahaha! when they told me this morning that the star wars theme was our "bell", i got confused and brushed it off as a joke i didn't understand... (slow.) but when i heard it with my own ears ---

--- my goodness. this might just be jedi academy. hahah!

CS galore.

hahah! played CS for two hours straight! i was a little messed up at first, but after my one-on-one practice session with pards, i ruled... =p well, kindof --- just a little bit... heheh... damn JP! kala ko kung sino yung nagtype: "patchi baboy iacademy no match"... siya lang pala, kumag yun... but hey, i smoked him on our 3on3... sweet revenge.!! muhaha!

i bought a book at national a while ago too... i don't know who the author is but the story seemed nice... i hope it's a good read...

for 500 pesos, it better be.

yay!

i figured out how to work around posting links! muhaha! ashteeg... =D visit my friends' blogs everyone... they're all pretty amazing...

...

nothing to do in class --- again. well we installed maya a while ago... but now we're back to having our own worlds... sir don is missing... oh wait, he just went in... he's probably going to continue his class with the pople in front in a few minutes. damn it. maybe we should all bond with sir don... maybe then we'd actually be having class with him instead of TRYING to listen to him having class with his friends. =( i don't have anything against him, really... he's good at what he does, and i think all of us knows that... just that, he can't reach out to everybody... he mumbles stuff like he's not sure if he's saying the right things... sometimes i almost feel as if he's afraid of us... like he's not sure if he really is our superior or not... i don't know. i just see a lot of hesitation in his eyes... and i think a lot of his students see that, and that's why some students take him for granted...

it's not right, but who can blame them?

hmm.

public blog? delikado ito... muhaha!

hi friends! =D